As amazing as it is to get together with someone you care about, the flip side is that you run the risk of someday coming apart. Making that call is incredibly important, and definitely shouldn’t be taken lightly. In the age of deal breakers and instant gratification it can sometimes be tough to determine whether a relationship issue is the end of the road, or just another hurdle.
So how do you know when you shouldn’t give up?
You don’t actually want to break up
This might sound totally silly, but the easiest way to determine if you should give up is if you actually want to. Your gut is the most important tool you have when you’re deciding to enter or exit a relationship. Think quietly to yourself, “Do I want to give up?” If you realize the answer is no, than it is worth it to stay.“If you feel like your person still brings out the best in you even during tough times — if you find yourself apologizing when you’re wrong, trying to be a better listener, or laughing your way out of arguments — you’ve got a relationship worth working on.
You haven’t discussed the reason for breaking up with your partner yet
Oftentimes, you shouldn’t give up on your relationship if your reason for leaving is an issue that you haven’t tried to discuss with your partner yet. Maybe you find the idea of discussing or confronting them about the issue overwhelming. Maybe you’re afraid of how they’ll react. Maybe you have something to tell them that you’re afraid will make them leave, so you rather leave first.
Relationships are about communication and building trust, so it’s important to try to hear people out before calling it quits.
You are dealing with an issue that has never come up before
Another good sign you shouldn’t give up on your relationship is if this is the first time you’ve encountered the problem. If your partner has done something that has upset you, and it’s the first time it’s happened, that’s a good sign that you should talk about it. We’ve all been at that point where we’re so upset we rather leave than talk it out, but if it’s the first time it’s come up it might be a better move to go cool off and come back and discuss it later.“All relationships have heated moments of tension…when we build a case against our partner, we tend to be set off faster, jumping on them the moment they slip up or overreacting to them.”
They are making sincere actions toward change
If your partner is making sincere actions toward changing the problem that is giving you pause, that is a good sign that you shouldn’t give up on them. Here it is however important to differentiate between talk and action. If your partner is saying they’ll change a behavior and not actually doing anything to change, that is a clue to leave.
You are getting details from someone other than your partner
Even if it is news from someone who cares about you and means well, you should always discuss it with your partner first. Sometimes situations are misconstrued, or people are working off hearsay or rumors. Whatever the truth is, it’s important to try to get it from your partner, and no one else.
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